HOLY CRAP we looked up and someone was on base.  It was JD Drew.    WP sends him to second.  RISP!
Darren Oliver is in to pitch.
Three outs. Who cares?
sorry, this has been singularly unrewarding. So sad. We’ll return for the 9th. And tomorrow, of course…

Oh Ramon Ramirez, you are so terrible.  We thought you couldn’t suck as much as the offense, but you did.  That is all.
Saito on now.
Gorgeous double play got the runners at home and third–both were out by miles.  Nice, professional play by the Sox.
Two out double scores two more runs.  In case you’re wondering, we’re [...]

10:41 Kendrick leads off the bottom of the 6th and reaches–Youk may have been the victom of another bad call.  Francona argues emphatically.  Replays make it look like Youkilis had him but the throw from Lowell was undeniably terrible.  He’d deserve the error anyway, if you could even do that.
10:42 A perfect bunt on the [...]

OK, this is perhaps the time for some Sox fireworks. Or, like, a hit or two?
10:29 Abreu puts away out #1.  This might not be the Sox night.
10:30 Two quick outs.
10:31 Only the third hit of the night for the Sox–off the bat of Pedroia.  DON ORSILLO IS ON TBS!!!! Ahem. Scuse us.  THAT was [...]

10:04 JBay makes hit.  Bananas Foster have not yet manifested.  The Sports Chick is getting deeply displeased.
10:06 Ask, and you shall receive, TBS. Double play, as ordered.
10:07 Halfway through.  Can you even call it a pitchers’ duel? Meh. You call it a meh.

Both starters have 53 pitches. We’re about to add the bananas foster cooking process to the liveblog.  So far, smoke has been generated (this might be because of the cutting board we melted on to a burner last week.  Don’t worry, the plastic is nontoxic!)
Probably.
9:47 Oh, is there a baseball game occuring?  V-Mart grounds out.
9:49 [...]

9:27 Mathis provides the first Angels hit, a quick single.
9:28 He flies through the air with the greatest of ease, the daring young man on the flying tra–oh, that’s just Alex Gonzalez, making a relatively routine play.  Wow.
9:29 THANKS TBS.  Now I know what RISP are.  Now explain what “scoring position” means.  Or better yet, [...]

You can tell this game is boring so far, because none of the applicable topics are trending on Twitter.  In favor of The Office and Miley Cyrus.  The first we’re fine with, but the second? eesh. We fear for American culture.

Clearly, TBS took our advice about not cutting to commercial too quickly for us to enjoy all the jumping when a team wins.  In fact, they might have taken it to a fault with their SLO-MO HUG N’PILE CAM, which captured Mark Loretta (Mark Loretta!) in all his jumping up and down with D-Lowe (D-Lowe!) [...]

9:47 Claggett in. ERA? 43.20. Wow.*
9:51 Drew walks. Second, too.  So?
9:53 Lowell lines out, or something.
9:54 Kotchman walks on four. Finish!!!
9:55 Green strikes out. One more.
9:58 Ellsbury singles. 13-5.
9:58.5 Pedroia too. Comeback, anyone? Oy!
10:00 Season series now 8-1. Done.
BONUS for sitting through all this?
BEST SIGN EVER: Big Pa-pee test.
*the number is one word. Just FYI.

OK we’re going to try to do every at bat in five words or less. Just for fun.  Because at this point, we have to make our own fun.
9:32 Melancon hits Pedroia hard. Ow.
9:33 Martinez fielder’s choice, Pedroia out.
9:37 Reddick beats double play. Speedy!
9:39 The shift beats Ortiz. Barely.
Doing  very well so far!  Five words [...]